One afternoon in May of last year, my kiddos were begging to jump straight into our beautiful blue pool to soak up some sun and play time. This was just shy of 3 months after Heath’s death and the pool, being new to us, was a bright spot in our days; a fun retreat for us to put away the sadness and enjoy some splashing and giggling. I agreed that they could get in when, suddenly, I realized my cell service had taken a plunder. At that time, there were so many important things being handled that this interruption was very unwelcome and frustrating.
I decided I needed to drive towards town to get some service to check my email, text messages, and calls. Unfortunately, that meant I would need to tell my children we had to postpone the pool. So, I did. Carefully, I explained the four us would need to get into the truck and make our way towards town to get service on my phone. Then, we would turn around to head home to enjoy the pool. I pointed out that the trip wouldn’t take too long. We would be back in a jiffy. With little protesting from them, we jumped into Heath’s big ole truck and took off down our country road towards civilization. A few minutes into the drive, my youngest says to me:
“Momma, let me see your phone.”
“Why?” I asked.
“I want to see if you have any bars.” He responded.
What I immediately knew was that my sweet little boy was trying to find out if we had yet gotten to the place in the road where my phone had received service. He wanted to verify that the bars were there so that we could immediately turn around to head back to the pool. What he didn’t understand was that I might need to return some of those calls or emails. So, it wasn’t just a matter of seeing the bars and turning around.
Just seconds before as we were driving, I had formulated a plan in my mind to drive to the QT gas station. For those of you that do not have a QT near you, it is THE PLACE for refreshing drinks. Frozen drinks, flavored teas, sodas…all the sugar rush you could possibly need on a warm, May day to gear up for some pool time! My plan was to respond to email, etc. and then take the kids into QT for a treat. However, I did not share that plan with the kids. Instead, I felt it was a teaching moment, and I seized it. I told him:
“No, you can’t have my phone right now…Buddy, do you trust me?”
“What do you mean? Where are we going? Can I just see your phone so we can turn around and go home?” He protested.
One after another, these questions started flying from him. I could tell anxiousness was creeping in. He was realizing that this trip might not be exactly what he was expecting. I became even calmer and said again:
“Do you trust me?”
He immediately said, “Yes, I trust you but where are we going?” with a little panic in his voice.
This went on a couple more times. He then proceeded to say a bit louder “I NEED to know where we are going.” I could tell by the tone of his voice that he did need to know more so I said:
“Do you trust me to have your best interest at heart? Do you trust me to make good decisions for you? Do you trust me to take care of you?”
He responded, “Yes, I trust you…..But where are we going?”
By this time, we were nearing town. I knew I needed to get my point across before I gave away the surprise, so I said to him “You know buddy, a lot of times, God doesn’t give us all the details of what is to come, but we have to CHOOSE to trust him. We have to trust that He has our best interest at heart, He knows what is best for us and He will take care of us. We have to trust that He has good things for us.”
As soon as I said those words, I knew that was the lesson the Lord had for MY heart that day!
Uncertainty had been pouring down on me since the day of Heath’s stroke. I could NOT escape it. What I thought would be there to help me along the way, wasn’t. What I thought would happen, didn’t. BUT all along the way, GOD provided. He provided in super unexpected and miraculous ways.
The kids and I wrapped up our trip to QT with great big frozen drinks and candy which delighted their hearts. We returned home to the pool for an afternoon of fun. I was able to respond to the things that required my attention while we were in town and everyone was satisfied with our short excursion. My heart had surely been touched. The LORD had orchestrated an internet fail with a drive to town so that He could speak a truth into my heart and the hearts of my kids. He did all that just so that He could remind me that He has good things in store for us. We need only to trust Him; to not only trust Him for what he provides for us but more importantly for WHO HE IS.
Hebrews 13:8 NIV says:
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
He doesn’t change. The love He displayed when He sacrificed His life on the cross for my many sins is the same love that took Heath home to heaven. So, when bitterness tries to take root in my heart, when fear rises up, I think back to this day when Jesus so clearly whispered…TRUST ME.
What circumstance or heartbreak is Jesus calling you to trust Him through today?